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Islamic story  – NABEELAH 

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NABEELAH Episode 9

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Our nikkah didn’t appear like a nikkah to me, it seems like a funeral; it is awkward to hear that the groom doesn’t feel free to chat with his bride, despite the merry making of both families, I am bored with the wedding party.

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I knew Nabeelah also was not happy but she was pretending, each time my glance crossed with hers, I remembered our lovey-dovey days, I felt like someone whom his gold was snatched and was given a tin in return. Surely a tin is never comparable with gold.

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If our nikkah could be as boring as it is now, how will our marital life be? I tried to trick my heart that “All is well” from what I learnt from a popular Bollywood movie, but it didn’t work out. I have to face the reality and never compare it with movie scenes.

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Fatimah on her side was very happy, our nikkah as a fantastic day to her. It was her first time to be dressed in a full niqab; she felt on top of the world and she couldn’t hide her happiness. She introduced many of her family and friends to me but I was not concentrating, she noticed my lack of concentration and she asked me concerning it, I lied to her that the population of people in attendance worried me. She assured me that all will be well.

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On the night of our nikkah, I couldn’t sleep in the same room with her, I was not comfortable seeing her hairs, I still have the feelings of being a non-mahram to her, even though I had paid her mahr. She was worried about my behaviour and she reported me to my mum the next day, when my mum asked me about it, I lied that I was too tired that night, my mum admonished me to stop such behaviour , I apologised to Fatimah and did as my mum said. My loveless marital life with Fatimah begins.

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It was two months after my nikkah with Fatimah, Nabeelah also got married to a man called Sulayman , I intentionally not attended her nikkah because each time I see Nabeelah with Sulayman, I viewed the man as somebody who stole my possession, my heart feel emptiness and wrenching each time I see them together. To avoid the development of hatred of a fellow Muslim in my heart; I avoided anything that would make me see them together.

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When we were in madrasah, we were told the story about how Allah tried Zulaykha with love of prophet Yusuf (alayhi salaam), then I would blame Zulaykha of loving another person outside her marriage (may Allah forgive me), I didn’t realise the trial of love from Allah until my marriage with Fatimah, Living in the same room with Fatimah didn’t make us any closer, I always felt as if I was distant to her; I may be sitting with her in the sitting room but my mind would be with Nabeelah, I tried so much to do away with the love of Nabeelah but my heart was full of her love.

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It is part of Allah’s commandment that the husband should always make his wife happy but Most times when I tried to be free with Fatimah, I don’t know what to say to her, we were really  living like strangers in the house ,I have not seen the love I was promised that will grow after our nikkah . But I am still looking unto the heaven, expecting manna from Allah.

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On a fateful day, when I returned from the workplace, Fatimah ran to me at the gate and hugged me, even though the hugging seems boring, we exchanged pleasantries. She asked me about how my day went; I don’t know what to say, I just replied with Alhamdullilah. She told me that she had good news for me but she wanted me to guess what the good news was. I told her that I was poor at guessing. She refused to open-up until I guessed, intending to have fun with it, but I was not in mood of having fun. I didn’t bother what the good news was; I stood up and went into the bedroom. I lay on the bed and started to listen to the Qur’an recitation of Shaykh Siddiq Al- Minshawy from my phone.

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Fatimah was vexed up and she barged inside, she exclaimed “Subhanallah, you this man, why are you torturing me? With all love I showed you, you had never made me happy since I entered your house, Is this what sunnah taught you? I was discussing an important matter with you and you ignored me, you came here now listening to Quran recitation, Am I not important?

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I apologised to her and told her that I thought she was joking, and then I asked her what the good news was?

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Fatimah: okay, I agreed but before the news, let me ask you about something, you do tell me that your favourite reciter is Shaykh Abdulrahman Sudais, but you are listening to Minshawy now, have you fell in love with Shaykh’s voice?

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Me: no, I didn’t fell in love o; I just love to listen to it whenever I think about somebody who loves minshawy so dearly and mimics him so closely. 

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When Fatimah heard what I said, she broke into tears; she said “so, you came here thinking about Nabeelah while I wanted to give you important news, don’t you know that Minshawy is her favourite reciter, and you cannot lie that she was not the one you were thinking about because she is the one that could mimic Minshawy so closely.”

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I was surprised about how she guessed so right, if I knew that she would know that it is about Nabeelah, I wouldn’t have told her, I would have given her an excuse. I felt bad for what happened and I apologised to her but she didn’t listen, she told me that she regretted that she came into my life. She cried the whole night but later forgave me when I promised to change my attitude towards her. Though down inside my heart, I knew that I didn’t love her, I love Nabeelah.

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How will I cope with a loveless marriage?

stay tune for episode 10

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