Written by Jāmiu HarleemarhMorenikeji
Young people get confused when you tell them to get married to their best friend. The question that follows is “how can I marry my best friend when I don’t feel love for such a person?” What if my best friend is having a lover? Does that mean they should leave their lover for me? What if they don’t see me as a lover but just a friend?
To marry your best friend doesn’t mean go and propose love to a best friend you already have or force them to be in a relationship with you. This is far from that.
Marrying your best friend means you should build a friendship with the stranger who approaches you in the name of love or marriage. Allow the friendship to grow into best friends before you agree to marry them.
That is what getting married to a best friend is. A best friend who doesn’t just like you but also loves you. A best friend who doesn’t just enjoy your company but also has a strong attraction towards you. That’s a partner who is not with you because of sex, money or what you can give them.
People go in search of love hoping to find someone with a beautiful heart, but end up disappointed because the beauty suddenly turned into something ugly. Yesterday they were so much important but today they feel worthless. You need to know that a beautiful face doesn’t equal a beautiful heart and it is very difficult but possible to find someone with the two. The only person you can easily find both with is a child.
This is an adult you want to settle down with as a spouse, someone who has been through a lot and is no more innocent. You need time to know them and build a friendship that can save your union whenever loves fails.
To have a best marriage, you need someone who talks to you like best friends without getting tired of you. You need someone who understands the phrase “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”. Marriage is work but you need fun to spice it up in halal. You need a friend who plays with you like children do.
Being just husband and wife can sometimes be boring and annoying; like having a husband who orders the wife around, cook, serve me, etc without understand her needs to also be served, pampered, and feel affectionate.
Just being husband and wife can lead to lots of arguments; the wife trying to question every action and decision of the husband, spouses at each other’s throat, competing for the leadership spot of their union.
It’s painful to know some husbands love the beauty and body of their wives but not she as a person. It is same with some wives who respect the money their husbands have or give them but reserve no respect for the husband as a person. You don’t need such people to make your marriage work. You need a friend who loves you in person not what you have or can do for them.
In conclusion “Some friendships do not last, but some friends are more loyal than brothers, sisters, father’s & mother’s” –